


You're Not Her

by purestilinski



Series: Darkest Before Dawn [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dinah is Understanding, Fix-It of Sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 08:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purestilinski/pseuds/purestilinski
Summary: As most of his relationships collapse, Oliver begins to build a new one.





	You're Not Her

**Author's Note:**

> This is written with a heavily Lauriver influenced thought process. I would not read this if you are expecting Olicity. Also, Black Siren does not work for Diaz.  
> For those who might be confused, when the word "her" is in italics, it is special emphasis on Earth-One Laurel being referenced, though I do not do it every time she is.  
> I kind of wrote this in a random haze of Lauriver feels that I got, so I am sorry if it is not perfect.

Oliver grunted angrily, setting his bow down gently on the table with the last bits of his restraint. Behind him, Siren stepped cautiously out of the elevator. He ignored her presence, pulling his hood down and moving to the training dummies. He practiced his entrances, exits, and level changes, weaving around the dummy and peppering it with shots that grew increasingly hard. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Siren sitting by the glass display cases that housed their costumes. She was staring at the ground, apparently lost in thought. He growled, grinding his teeth together before turning his focus on the dummy.

His speed and power increased gradually as venomous thoughts raced through his mind. He had nobody left in his corner that he trusted. And it was all his fault. His mom’s death at the hand of Slade. Tommy’s during the Undertaking. Laurel becoming the Black Canary without enough training. Being abandoned by Rene, Dinah, Curtis, and his most trusted confidant, Diggle. Adrian was right, he had to go back to basics, to the mission. Everything Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, touched died. That’s why he had to become The Hood again. And somehow, sometime in the two months that he’d been flying solo, she convinced him that they could work together. In a fit of rage, he drove his knee into the training dummy, toppling it with a loud thud. 

Siren sighed, looking up at him with a hint of compassion. “Oliver-”

“Don’t,” he growled. “Do not say my name like that.”

She stood up, approaching him slowly. “Like what? Like _her_?”

He stepped back as she stepped forward, putting his hand up in warning. “Stop.”

She froze momentarily at the hard edge in his voice, before continuing. “I’m constantly reminded of it every time I am with you, Oliver.” His back hit the wall and he shut his eyes, trying to keep his emotions in check. If he concentrated hard enough, he could swear that he felt the light caress of her fingertips on his cheek. Her lips gliding gently over his. The warmth and comfort that only she could bring. “The fact that I am not her. That I’m not your Laurel.”

Before either of them could register what was happening, Oliver was the one moving forward, her on the retreat. “You’re right!” he shouted, voice cracking with emotion. “You are not her! I am reminded of that fact every...single...time that I see your face!” His body began to tremble, tears blocking his view. “Stop acting like you know me. You don’t. You don’t know how much she meant to me. You. Are. Not. Her.”

Without another word, he stormed out of the lair.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
Hours later, with the sun’s light dimming as it set and the artificial lights of the bustling city flickering on, she found him standing in the grassy, rolling plains of Norris Cemetery. 

“It’s beautiful,” she said, gazing at the scenery. 

And it was, though he made no effort to respond. It was beautiful and tragic at the same time, seemingly endless graveyard, perfect in its simplicity. There was nothing but granite resting places and thousands of blades of grass for miles and miles. The city was, in that moment, a million miles away. 

“Oliver.”

He turned to look at her, schooling his face as best as possible. She was breathtaking. Her sandy brown hair fell just below her shoulder. Her green eyes pierced through him, as if searching for the innermost part of him. Her lips were curved into a small smile. She was just like _her_ but at the same time so unlike _her_. It was nauseating. He cleared his throat, attempting to remain stoic. “Yes?”

“Do you think I could be like her? Like your Laurel?” 

He flinched at _her_ name. He hadn’t used it in forever. With _her_ name came thoughts of her, something he did not want to happen. If he ignored it, put it in the deepest recesses of his mind, he could not be hurt by it. “I...I don’t know,” he answered honestly, his voice nothing more than a gruff whisper. 

She stood there, motionless, eyes locked onto his, seemingly waiting for him to continue.

So, he did. “I can’t answer that question for you. Whether or not you want to change, that’s your call. You need to figure out who you want to become.”

He left her there, refusing to look back.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
“Flying solo now, huh?”

Oliver grunted, lowering his bottle of Belvedere Vodka before muttering a “yes” in response. Dinah joined him at the ledge of the roof. She sat down and, like Oliver, let her legs dangle over the city below. 

“What do you want, Dinah?” 

“Curtis wants to go after Black Siren when Rene’s healed up.” She said nothing else, waiting for his reaction.

He turned to her, eyes cold. “And what about you? What do you want?” 

“I don’t know. She killed Vince.”

“She’s...she’s not this person you’re making her out to be.” His voice broke and he cleared his throat, attempting to keep his emotions in check. 

“Well, what kind of person is she?” asked Dinah, gazing at Oliver with surprising sympathy. 

“I don’t know. I talked to her earlier. I think she’s still deciding. So, please, please give her a chance.” 

Dinah’s response was gentle, but firm. “It’s not my decision. It’s the decision of my team.” She watched his muscles tense, as if he was about to enter a fight. “But, if we did, you’d stand by her side. Wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” he said with conviction. “In a heartbeat.” 

Despite herself, Dinah gave him a small smile. “I thought so. You and Laurel, always and forever. Everyone else be damned.” 

Oliver let out a bitter laugh, averting his gaze to the specks of light down below. 

“What?”

“Nothing...I’ve just heard something similar before. From multiple people.” 

“Maybe there’s some truth to it.”

“Maybe. But she’s not _her_. _She’s_ gone. And I’m still here. So much for always and forever, huh?” Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he succumbed, abandoning any attempt at hiding the pain. 

Hesitantly, Dinah put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll...I’ll talk to my team. I can see how much this means to you.” She stood up and, before she left, said one more thing. “You know, you should check on him. Everyone else has.” 

After a moment, he realized she was referring to Rene. 

And, just like that, he was left alone.

Alone to think about those who had suffered because of him.

_Tommy_.  
_Moira_.  
_Thea_.  
_Roy_.  
_John_.  
_Slade_.  
_Rene_.  
_Felicity_.  
_Sarah_.  
_Quentin_.  
_William_.  
_Samantha_.  
_Vince_.  
_Her_. 

Alone to think about the one he wanted to save.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
She found him two days later, training in the Arrowcave. Ever since the team disbanded, he had been putting himself through rigorous physical and mental tests. He had to make sure that he was one-hundred percent…that he had the mentality, skills, and physicality that he had as The Hood. There would be no more slacking, no more relying on teammates to help him out of difficult situations. 

She walked in quietly, intent on not disturbing him, but he could sense her presence before she even descended in the elevator. 

“I know what I want,” she said, confidently. 

Oliver fired off four arrows in rapid succession, watching as they penetrated the remaining tennis balls and pinned them to the wall. He turned to face her, setting his bow down on the table next to him. “And?” He kept his tone neutral, but inside he was hoping. _Hoping_ that she wanted to stay.

“I’ve decided that I’m going to help you take down Diaz.” His heart thumped in his chest as she continued. “Afterwards, I don’t know what I want. But I don’t think it’s being a vigilante. At least not yet. I want to practice law and maybe...just maybe help Quentin as his District Attorney.”

He nodded, letting a warm smile spread across his face. “Ok. That sounds like a good plan.” 

She closed the distance, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “But first...Oliver, I was thinking. I don’t know anything about you. I spent all of this time acting like I did because you had his face, my Oliver’s face. But...you’re not him. So please, talk to me.”  
And he did.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work in the series. I have already written a second and I am currently working on a third, so I really hope you guys and girls enjoyed this.


End file.
